I wanna passion pit in your ass
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
