Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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