i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
well you can't waste a boner
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
