Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize