Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
