"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
