I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i black out too much to be "responsible"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
