your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
