Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
you're hired as official boob wrangler
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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