your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
