I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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