Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
