what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
