when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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