I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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