Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
