i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
