She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
