I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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