i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
