My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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