.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i've created a new STD.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
