If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
