Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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