Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
