Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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