God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
