if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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