i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
