Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
