the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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