I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
