You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
