I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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