He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
