dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I miss vodka workout Fridays
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
