chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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