hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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