i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
