Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
