Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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