You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
