They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
