Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize