Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
