Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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