return my video game
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
