She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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