I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
