I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
