Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
