it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
