I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The Olympian is in my bed
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
