Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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