I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
