i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
