hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
