I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
