How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
