Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
