We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize