look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
