I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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