we're blogging at a bar
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
