I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The power of my boobs compel you
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
