the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
