Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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