is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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