dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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