Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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