I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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